Talking to himself and rattling his shopping trolley down the street, another tramp made his way to the beach. The little bench on the sidewalk draws in a few more disheveled looking customers - a dusty glow to their clothes, a dirty smear to their hair. A tramps paradise? So, here’s the thing - annual warm climes and a micro-climate offering limited rain, the warm ocean to wash and urinate in and a beach to sleep - if you can make it here, you’ve scored a win.
As the highway flows, sandy inlets with breaching palms make for outstanding postcodes for the ill fortunate, Maui's vast homeless population. Battered vans and salty pick ups are draped in towels and cardboard boxes, whilst makeshift fences are created from local shrubbery, denoting smallholdings. Sea views, community spirit and private beaches, this very much is a tramps paradise.
As our hosty shrieked “drink up we are going down y’all’ we tumbled into Maui’s international airport. A last minute booking had has linking up with Brian from Campervan Hawaii. A gaunt looking fella, clearly not adverse to enjoying a splif or two - took us to our humble abode for the coming week. A silver VW westfalia camper. A veteran of the road - completing more than 120,000 miles. Brian was quick to inform us of the issues the girl was facing - “these are cup holders, they’ll break if you touch them.” “Those draws under the bed - just don’t touch them, you’ll break them!” Nonetheless, the keys were handed over and we were all good to pull away. As she turned over and the dash lights dropped off - one stayed on. The engine warning light - I reversed, to grab Brian before he disappeared, back to the waves and weed.
“Brian, sorry dude - just a quick thing, the engine failure light is on. Is that something to worry about?”
“Oh no man, your all good - these things come on all the time!” And with that we set sail in the westy.
A quick stop at Walmart had us stocked up for the week. With most goods besides Pinapples being imported, prices here are pretty steep, so meals were going to be in the Westy. After all, despite being somewhat delicate even she was expensive - albeit cheaper than any hotel offering on the island. A fridge stocked and rice cakes hanging in the netting at the back - we were all set.
We began our journey headed south towards Kihei. American beach parks welcome skaters, basket ballers and weekday joggers. There was more ath-leisure than in my wardrobe in this little town. Cali tourists and mainland temporaries strolled the boardwalk decked out in leisure gear - Starbucks drinks cartons in their hands. Lifeguards send out occasional warnings, sure to rid themselves of any legal implications, should anyone graze themselves on the coral, whilst kids splash around in the breaking waves. Golden sands are full of Americans sipping cools light, strapped into Tommy Bahama beach chairs and jamming to the sound of their boom boxes.
When the sun says goodbye for the day - facing west, Kihei has a pretty beaut spot to savour the moment. As the sun dips beneath the ocean - the skies transform into a rainbow of reds as onlookers hide behind iPhones and SLRs (ourselves included). Hard not to when the thing looks so damn good! And with that, the public shower is calling.
Amidst the public park - a metal structure stands invitingly. From the neck, a three sided prong shoots out powerful, pressurized water of a rather cold nature. Freezing to be more descriptively accurate. Most beach users dip in and out to rid themselves of the salty water. Others dabble their feet in to rinse the sand. Even tramps don’t spend anytime under them - they opt for dunking themselves in the sinks of the public loos. (Zoe got more than she bargained for when she popped in to the loo..!)
However, with no shower on board the westy - these little beauties would be our daily showers. As holiday makers took their rinse, we lined up our shampoo, face wash and conditioner and got ready for the full shower experience. Soap spuds and shampoo foam flowed freely down the pavement and we drew hideous amounts of attention. At first, one felt rather exposed and uncomfortable - however, as the week progressed it became the norm. Almost to the point I was questioning why others thought it acceptable to consider themselves clean having not used any form of detergent!
Fresh, clean and ready to sleep we headed to find a spot to spend the night. As we drove past a little tramp enclosure close to Mile 14 - right on the beach and with ocean views to die for, what was there not to love. What would people pay for a private beach, sea breeze and ocean views? We drove the westy down onto the beach, switched her off and carefully pulled the bed out. As the waves crashed onto the beach - the sea breeze kept her cool.
Having arrived in the dark - it was hard to see where exactly we had parked - besides the beach and adjacent to the highway. However, as morning broke it became apparent that the breaking waves had in fact broken a matter of inches from our rear tyres. How lucky we were a bigger wave didn’t come over night - I’m not sure the westy would have withstood that sort of natural force, given the cup holders sensitivity to the slightest of touches.
A bowl of cereal on the beach, watching surfers ride the reef breaks off shore - we were set up for our day. A short drive north had us at Lahaina. A cool town with an awesome vibe, Lahaina is a popular tourist spot. A long stretch of golden sand beach provides sea views for mainstream hotel chains. Marriott, Westin, The Sheraton and Luxury condos overlook the beach with extensive resorts offering guests Vegas style hotel experiences. The boardwalk winds its way along the coast, dipping in and out of each one on its way. Clients are attended to by young locals and elder escapists selling timeshares. Opposite pool bars and tourist shops selling Hawaii t-shirts and floating aids, surf schools send out the next wave off wannabe pipe masters. The chasm between teacher and student - vast. Fat Americans and Gangly Chinese follow the long surfer locks of a guy ripped up to shreds and tanned to the gills. I guess, you all have to start somewhere - some just have to travel the journey a little longer!
Having walked past so many awesome looking hotels, it wasn’t long before we felt the urge to get a deeper look. With conviction, we strolled into the Westin. Complete with flamingos in ponds and parrots in cages, this place was unreal. An adult only pool on the mezzanine level overlooked the setting sun - whilst the more appealing kiddy pool welcomed excitable youngsters (and me) to play in splash pools, water slides and shoot hoops!
With so many hotels to explore illegally and an awesome stretch of beach to check out - we stayed here a few days. You got it - alongside the tramps on the beach.
Having exhausted our welcome at the Westin, it wasn’t long before our walk took us a little further down the boardwalk to the Hyatt Regency. Having been given some coupons for free ice cream from the gent selling timeshares (I think our appearance suggested we weren’t in the market to opt in to a million dollar investment) we snooped into their grotto bar. A man made cave, waterfalls falling either side, was home to a swim up bar. We considered a drink but the prices were offensive - especially after today’s expenditure.
A quaint town - the main attraction is the shopping precinct along front street, Lahaina. Having secured a parking spot for three hours for free - our first stop was the Belle Surf Cafe.
An awesome place with a super chilled vibe - planning Christmas presents was made easy by their immense flat white and ability to transport you into a different place, where you begin to believe you are quality at surfing! What’s more - and important if you are living out of a van - their toilet is a good walk away, remote and very scarcely occupied - giving you all the privacy you require.
The strip is long and home to a number of reputable surf brands. Bilabong, Volcom, quicksilver grabbed us by audacious window displays and enticing Black Friday deals. We continued, in and out of stores which would have our mothers salivating - full of bric a brac and beach furnishings for luxury beach dwellings. Cushions to throw on lavish outdoor sofas and beach bags to turn heads. Having picked up a few items for our families - we still had some way to go and the balance on the card was not enjoying the enormity of the offerings.
At the head of the road - if you still had more in you, The Outlets of Maui scream at you to come and take a look. Adidas to Crocs - the place was swimming in deals galore. We walked around. And around. And around. Ten hours later and having moved the westy to various differing locations, we were done. Every Christmas present and more ticked off and with a bank balance teetering on the edge of red. The McDonalds toilet did the job for the evening episode and a large portion of fries provided supper. The tramp enclosure was calling!!
Having parted with a copious amount of funds - we thought it best to have a day on the beach to rein in the expenditure. Food was sorted and the coffee this morning came from McDonalds - killing two birds with one stone. Caffeine fix and toilet visit! Albeit - the code for the toilet was etched in our memory, we felt it only right to be customers before frequenting their facilities. On ordering my latte - I was reminded why America faces such an issue with obesity - having turned down whipped cream I was asked if I wanted sugar - no. I was then asked, with a rather surprised tone of voice - “any flavorings?” Again no. The Latte will suffice.
Having turned a darker shade of brown and Zoe a little more peely, we returned to a sweaty westy. The neat thing about the van is that when the bed is tucked away, we could create a little dining area - complete with table and chairs. Having watched game changers - spinach wraps and vegetable fillings were on the daily menu for lunch. Prep and eating was all good - the issue came when washing up. The westy did not have a sink - thus our washing up method relied on putting water out of a 5L container, whilst the other scrubbed ferociously - bits of black bean and carrot escaping our toes and flowing willfully across the public car park. Understandably, this got some strange looks from passers by - especially when we saw it fit to tackle this daily operation in the car park of a luxury condo. Needs must!
Having enjoyed the beauties of vegging on a beach - we wanted to explore a bit more of this tropical island. Unlike other parts of Polynesia we have discovered, Hawaii is a lot more manicured. Carpet like lawns offer ridiculous looking golf courses, whilst immaculately trimmed hedges and palm lined boulevards act as highway boundaries. Similar to the constructed realities of Disneyland or Las Vegas - Maui has a resort like feel across much of the west coast. Signposts direct you to golf tees and hotel shops, whilst every corner seems to have tourist offerings. Moreover, every person you bump into seems to be in holiday mode.
Moving further north - towards Honolua Bay - the couriered nature of this island takes a turn. The rugged nature of a true isolated island comes to the fore. Deep vegetation hang lavishly over the narrow road and tall cliff edges rise from the ocean. The western highway - a single track road twists and turns around volcanic peninsulas giving hairy experiences for passengers. A notable stop on route was at the Blowhole. Recent lava flows, solidified into rock causing the cliff edge to overhang the rock beneath. As breaking waves collide with the extremity of this new landmass, water shoots through the small crevasse in the rock - providing a water shoot 70ft in the air. Onlookers watch in amazement whilst others get soaked by the spray. A pretty awesome place to catch the view!
There are big waves in the world and then there are Hawaiian waves. Colossal barrels come crashing into the coast, unobstructed for miles across the pacific. 20-30ft rollers careered towards the coast, with dare devil surfers on hand to take advantage. On the cliffs above, pick ups pulled over with surf enthusiasts capturing every moment through binos and long lenses. Judges called scores, noting the attainment of the elite - surfing in Maui’s biggest surf contest - Maui Pro. We stood for hours enthralled by their ability, to carve and jump some of the most humongous waves I have ever seen.
The road carved an even narrower hole in the edge of the cliff. Meeting an oncoming vehicle was not an option. The horn sounded around each and every bend - desperately hoping to get to the end unscathed. At the same time, glued to the beautiful views before us. Miles of ocean, rugged red cliffs and thick vegetation. This was true Hawaii - before American invaders put their stamp on it. The population ceased, the tourists dwindled.
Dipping back down towards the south, we headed to the southernmost part of the island. Le Perouse bay was the destination. As you drive across Maui’s youngest Lava Field - flanked by sharp, porous black rock - you are reminded how powerful nature can be. Every part of land we could see was newly formed by the eruption of the crater on Maui. Lava flowed towards the sea producing a new headland - and with it bay. Black sand acted as the boundary between this new land mass and the ocean. Marine life swam the shallow shores, reveling in the new corals which accompanied the lava’s plummet into the sea. This part of the island was awesome. Sandy paths mirrored the coves and bays, allowing you to look out in search of dolphins. It is said that dolphins come here to sleep, given the protected nature of the bay and the calm waters. Alas, we failed to see them here - but did catch a glimpse of them further north.
With our time on the island drawing to a close - we headed to Paia. Spoken about with some amor, we were excited to get there. A small town, with a few boutique style shops and a handful of restaurants - Paia will leave you wanting to explore every nook and cranny. Shop assistants and locals have the same kinda hippie vibe to them. Life seems to pass by and they don’t seem too fazed by much. The pace is slow and the vegan options of food multiple. If you looked pst the weirdos, the shops themselves had some pretty awesome products and the galleries illustrated wicked photos of the island - at its best. Paia is definitely worth a visit.
When throwing some non-dairy ice cream into a pot...whatever that is, we were instructed by the server to head 10 minutes north to Ho’Okipa beach. She promised us turtles and it didn’t disappoint. With surfers catching crazy waves in the backdrop, next in line paddling out - huge sea turtles rested on the sand. As they lay, their mates struggled their way out of the sea, as breaking waves washed them up the beach a little at a time. It is said that wherever man discovered in our early days of civilization, large animals were made extinct. Areas such as the Galápagos Islands, which were left untouched for many more years are host to some of the worlds most incredible species such as the Giant Tortoise or the Komodo Dragon on Komodo Island. Perhaps this paints an even stronger picture - these large sea turtles seemed relatively unfazed by the onlooking Homo sapiens and I have never seen anything of their nature anywhere else on planet earth.
Maui has something for everyone. If you are not a surfer, like the fat American or the Gangly Chinese - you’ll be grabbing a board and salivating at the waves! If you are not a shopper, the boutique shops will be turning your head. If you want luxury hotels - this place will leave you fulfilled. If you are not a tramp - turns out you may just be able to live like one. We will be coming back - I don’t know when, I don’t know how - but Maui has a unique ability to win you over somehow!